THE DEFINITIVE RANKING!
Well, at least, one ranking.
High school bad boys, Southern gentlemen, rich misunderstood sensitive types, Canadians — we’ve got it all. Plus we hit a few of our favorite cartoon dudes, too (you know Simba was hot, so don’t even front). Did your favorite make the list? Check and see below!
10. John Bender (The Criminal) – The Breakfast Club
John Hughes created many memorable men for teenagers to swoon over, but our favorite is John Bender aka The Criminal in his Brat Pack masterpiece The Breakfast Club. He’s troubled, he’s funny, he’s a loudmouth, and he doesn’t care what anyone thinks (or does he?). Bender has a sensitive side, too, and that combined with his brash image is what makes him so attractive. I’m not saying he’d be a great boyfriend (and that part with Molly Ringwald under the table is super weird), but he’s still pretty cute.
9. Ashley Wilkes – Gone With the Wind
I know what you’re thinking… Where is Rhett Butler? You’ve got the wrong guy!!! And I get that. But despite his lack of popularity, my childhood fave was Ashley. Maybe it was Clark Gable’s dark hair and mustache that threw the 10-year-old me, but Leslie Howard had my heart from day one. He was sensitive, dashing, and loved music and art. There was something nostalgic and sad about him, and for some reason, 10-year-old me really “got” him. But as I grew older and tirelessly worked my way through Margaret Mitchell’s Pulitzer Prize winner, I kind of realized why everyone hated Ashley so much: His indifference is suffocating. He leads Scarlett on, he’s pretty wimpy, and he can’t get his head out of the past. It can’t be denied Rhett’s the better man, even if he is a womanizing gambler. Maybe we’re too far into Scarlett’s head, but there’s something attractive about those sad, distant eyes of Ashley Wilkes. You might think differently, but frankly my dear, I don’t give a damn.
8. Peter Pan – Peter Pan
Okay, this one gets a little weird. Yes, he’s a little kid and yes he’s often played by a woman, but let’s get real: the childhood you loved Peter Pan. He’s adventurous, fun, and HE CAN FLY. Plus, he loves his mother… Whoever she may be. (Also am I the only one to hear some innuendo in “codfish”?)
7. Noah (The Ryan Gosling version) – The Notebook
If you are anything like us, we at Good Millennial have to read the book a movie’s based on before heading to the theaters. It’s just our little rule, since books are usually better than their film brothers and sisters. But Nicholas Sparks’ The Notebook comes NOWHERE NEAR the movie version, and that’s because god among men RYAN GOSLING is nowhere to be found in the tawdry pages of the movie’s namesake. Plus Rachel McAdams… James Garner… Gena Rowlands… JAMES MARSDEN (also hot)… They could have made any movie together and I would have loved it. But there’s something special about The Notebook. Ryan Gosling, the score, Ryan Gosling, the beautiful setting, the chemistry between Rachel and RYAN GOSLING. To be real, The Notebook is a pretty good movie just on its own. But Ryan Gosling’s Noah is everything — sensitive, charming, humble, loving, a true fighter… Plus it was totally her family’s fault they broke up and he wrote all those letters that WHOLE time!!!! Allie, I am well aware of how cute James Marsden is, but it’s always been Noah.
6. Jess – Gilmore Girls
Ahh, Jess. Rory Gilmore’s bevy of boyfriends is often up for debate, but even all you Logan fans have to admit Jess is obviously the most attractive of them all. He’s a bad boy with a heart of gold, the Jack Kerouac wannabe you have always wanted to date. Even when he acts like a goon, you never question his devotion to Rory. Plus he’s super supportive and loves her for her brains and talent. (And he’s really, REALLY good looking.) I chalk his stupid life/relationship choices up to a tough upbringing and teenage rebellion. Let’s all hope Rory meets up with him now that he’s more mature and they take on the world together.
5. Wesley – The Princess Bride
The romantic epic The Princess Bride is a cinematic classic (the book isn’t bad, either), and Wesley and Buttercup’s love is the envy of us all. This movie is great for 1 million reasons, and one of them is its message: true love conquers all. And Wesley is pretty fantastic. He loves Buttercup from day one and he saves her from danger even when she is set to marry someone else. Plus they’re funny together, and that helps make their love “the most passionate, and the most pure”. There’s something so comforting about watching a romance that couldn’t be bothered with everyday troubles. And Carry Elwes isn’t bad on the eyes either. And sword fighting! AND MANDY PATINKIN. Brb I gotta go watch The Princess Bride real quick.
4. Mr. Darcy – Pride and Prejudice
Is there anything better than a brooding and mysterious rich guy who turns out to be super great in the end? Fitzwilliam Darcy is the perfect match for Elizabeth in Jane Austen’s classic novel and for every 9th grade girl who swooned her way through her English required reading. Sure he starts out being a huge jerk, but this is a guy who actually changes for the better. He not only helps Elizabeth’s family despite extreme social pressure not to, but he also falls for our badass protagonist because she’s a super smart and independent lady. Plus, who can resist Colin Firth? NO ONE.
3. Laurie – Little Women
No one shaped my relationship expectations more than Theodore Lawrence. (Except maybe Christian Bale as Theodore Lawrence… Oh man.) Of course, I, unlike Jo, would never have turned him down. After all, he’s a rich musician/lawyer who also happens to be sweet, giving, kind, fun-loving, and the most supportive man in the entire world! WHAT’S NOT TO LOVE, JO?! We know Jo had to go on to marry Professor Bhaer, but come onnnnnnn. His only bad side? He ends up with Jo’s little sister Amy… but I guess we have to give him credit for his commitment to family? Laurie FOREVER!!!!!!!!!
2. Gilbert Blythe – Anne of Green Gables
If there’s one character every young, bookish girl has fallen for, it’s got to be Gilbert Blythe. From the minute he’s starts in with “carrots”, Gil wins our hearts EVERY TIME. No real life person could ever compare to this boy next door and his good natured confidence and devotion. He’s persistent but not annoying when Anne rebuffs him and continues to hold a grudge for the whole name-calling thing (forreal, Anne?!), and he even ends up being an amazing doctor. Plus he writes Anne all the time and then becomes a super incredible father. For more reasons as to why Gilbert is probably the best literary man ever, check this great list.
1. Michael Moscovitz – The Princess Diaries
You didn’t think THIS guy was going to be the big finish, did you? Much to my friends’ dismay, Michael Moscovitz will always be my fictional number one. If you weren’t a Meg Cabot fan back in the day, we’ll catch you up to speed. Not only is Mia Thermopolis an honest, completely relatable modern heroine, but her true love Michael is the ABSOLUTE BEST. He’s genius smart, he has opinions on everything, he’s respectful and kind, and he supports Mia in literally everything. PLUS he’s a genius smart musician who writes love songs about Mia and has great taste in tunes. HELLO?! AMAZING. I am honestly getting verklempt just thinking about him. The entire Princess Diaries saga (10 full length books, a bunch of short ones, and a NEW BOOK for adults coming out in June!!!! AHHHHH!!!!!!) changed my little young adult life, and the Mia and Michael love story is one for the history books. Michael is simply the best there is. Except for Gilbert… and Laurie… And… Look, MICHAEL’S THE WINNER, Y’ALL! H8ers to the left.
HONORABLE MENTIONS: DISNEY DUDES!!!!
We can’t forget about these cartoon guys/animals who changed our hearts forever. There’s of course Aladdin, the vest-wearing Prince Ali. And then Simba (and that shot of Nala during Can You Feel the Love Tonight), and don’t forget about the foxy Robin Hood. Also the Beast before he turns into the guy isn’t too bad looking, either. And, finally, Tarzan, whose cartoon muscles definitely make up for the fact he’s a monkey man. Plus Phil Collins.
So what’d you think of our list? Did we hit all your faves or did we miss a few? Think we got it totally wrong? Share your thoughts below or on our FB page!